To put such an add without consultation is a betrayal and an insult. once its in the open.can you not confront him on this regardless of how you found out? I'm still not sure if he's just playing a game or is serious. Our relationship has been from one extreme to another... Is it an addiction that can be cured..it like alcohol where giving up is the only cure? Although I guess if he has any answers on the site he is on..is taking them for a fool too. It is a nice fantasy to have and some things should stay just that a fantasy. Porn is like most things ok in moderation and even better if your relationship is such that needs are shared and talked over. the relationship has a future...unless you want to try his hidden lifestyle... If one does NOT choose to Remove themself from anyone that is treating them Badly? OP : Maybe ask yourself "Why don't feel deserve to be treated with Love , Respect? I think my main problem is the not being consulted. I am hurt, the problem being he doesn't know why I am down...obviously he had no intention of me finding out so as far as he is concerned he isn't hurting anyone. I would also say that from my experience more couples / friends etc talk about threesomes and more without actually doing anything about it in the real world. Only way forward is if he is prepared to admit and seek help. What I would suggest is that you confront him with this information directly and immediately. ..i guess if your instinct was mistrust which caused you to find this..... It might be a fantasy he is acting out, but does he know where to draw the line when the time comes.
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